Forgiveness

It is, pretty much, universally accepted by those of us who love the gemme that golf is a useful metaphor through which we can begin to understand other facets of our lives. What I struggle with most is forgiving myself when something I do falls way short of my expectations. I am slowly learning how to cut myself some slack, which not only benefits me, it makes the lives of people close to me a lot easier. Much of what I’ve learned about forgiving myself comes from trying to recover from those 4-iron shots that fluff out there a hundred feet or so and leave me bug-eyed with angry disbelief. When that happens, and it happens all too often, my running internal commentary becomes decidedly negative. Rather than relate the actual internal dialog, I can sum it up in one word: Argh! (It came to be called golf because other four-letter words were already taken.) Primarily, you have to be able to let that angry disbelief go. If you don’t, it can threaten the entire round. It’s also not fair to the folks you’re playing with. Yeah, we all get bent, but that’s not the point. The point is getting over it. I’ll paraphrase Tom Watson: hit the ball, accept where it goes, chase it, and hit it again.

Part of letting the anger go is accepting where the ball goes. In order to do that, you have to forgive yourself before moving on. It’s not easy, at least not for me, and I’m pretty sure I’m not alone.

Have I become a better golfer as I improve my attitude after a lousy shot? Nope. But I have become a better person. And that is one of golf’s great gifts to the rest of my life.