F: The answer to this question lies in asking golfers, “If you improved your game, what would you have?” Golfers say that if they got better, they would have peace of mind, satisfaction and contentment. So that’s what they’re seeking, underneath their request for improvement. Also, golfers have said that what they really want is freedom: freedom to trust themselves, to be themselves, to let it go. And, finally, they ask for learning to coach themselves, learning to be their own coach and have golf be an activity of sustained learning.
Q: What’s the most common problem among golfers who ask your advice?
F: What’s most common is that there are things occurring in golfers’ swings and in their minds of which they are unaware. For instance, a golfer might not experience his/her downswing other than as a blur, so they have no idea what’s actually happening in that part of their swing. Or, they could be unaware of the degree to which they’re gripped by fear or worry about the outcome. Therefore, the most common problem is that golfers attempt to change things of which they have no awareness or experience. And, the result is that things don’t change.
Q: How did you first discover that the “tips and techniques” coaching model wasn’t the key to success on the golf course?
F: I played golf 17 years before I ever coached anyone. During that time, I tried all the tips and techniques on myself and had others try them on me as well. My conclusion after 17 years was that that approach doesn’t make a difference. But, since it’s what I knew when I first started coaching, it’s the path I pursued with students. It didn’t take long for me to realize that a lesson of tips and techniques wasn’t going to make a great difference with them either. Only when a new ways of seeing it all—a new possibility, a new paradigm— was experienced could I look back on the old one and begin to have clarity about what makes a difference, and what doesn’t.
Q: Was there an “aha” moment that triggered this new understanding of the game?
Q: Yes, there was. There was an area of my golf swing where a particular motion had been happening for 22 years but I wasn’t aware of it. That motion made my swing less accurate and efficient. People had pointed it out to me but it made no difference because I had never experienced it. Then, once, in a 30-minute period with a coach, I felt something that I had never felt before, in the area that had been blind to me. That area of my swing suddenly became real and the simple act of experiencing this particular motion—getting to know it—changed everything. And, my inefficiency of 22-years disappeared in 30-minutes, never to come back. This was the beginning of a new coaching paradigm for me.
Q: Why is it critical for players to become self-coaching?
F: The person whom you are the most with in your life is yourself. No matter how we look at it, we are our own coach, good or not, at some level. Every day our bodies change, our emotions change, our state of mind fluctuates. To be able to get excellence out of who we are everyday—and to get the peace of mind and freedom that make that excellence possible—requires that we know ourselves and have a self awareness that no coach can have for us.
Q: Your philosophy is grounded in principles like “being present in the moment” and freeing the mind of mental chatter, all of which sound very Zen-like. Have you studied eastern philosophy?
F: I don’t think a person can be 50-years old in our society and not have been touched at some level by eastern philosophy, or have some recognition of the truth in it. For thousands of year, both in philosophy and spirituality, people have been saying the same thing: “Be present. The answers lie within.” One of the ways you get to that is to be quiet enough on the outside so you can actually experience the inside. So the ideas of freeing your mind of mental chatter and being able to be in the moment are not new. It’s just seems that for some people it’s new in golf. But those ideas were there long before golf and will probably be there long after.
I never formally studied eastern philosophy but you could say that I have been “bent” that way from a young age. I have been attracted to both books and conversations in which I could learn more about the nature of being human.
Q: When a student asked why your book focused on putting rather than another stroke, you said, “…putting can open up the whole thing.” What did you mean exactly?
F: I meant that the way we do one thing is the way we do all things. That the way we are in putting is also the way we are in other parts of our golf game. And it’s the way we are in our life with our family and in our business life. We are “being” the same. Our relationship to failure, to trust, to how we view and relate to our bodies, to how we measure success are the same in everything we do because it’s still ‘us’. So it’s possible that putting could shine a spotlight and provide kind of a self awareness that will not only make a difference in putting, but anywhere. If we wanted to learn about self-trust, confidence, freedom—which are valuable anywhere in life—just pick up a putter and pay attention.
Q: Instead of the standard outsider’s “tips” you offer innovative “explorations” that shift a player’s focus and sharpen awareness. How did you develop them?
F: At the foundation of our work there’s a recognition that only our awareness develops us. The next question then is, “Of what would we want to become aware?” In a physical game like golf, what make a difference are awareness of the ball, our club, our body and the target, which includes the environment. So, as coaches we create exercises to expand students’ awareness of those areas. Of course, we try out every exercise, every exploration on ourselves. We take them on and then share among us what’s made a difference. Do we experience the club in a way we never have before? Do we experience our body in a way we haven’t? The ball? Does it allow for more efficiency? If the answers are yes, then we are likely to bring the exercise into a program and offer it to students.
Q: You assert that, in forty thousand golf lessons, you’ve never met a person who was able to completely separate their sense of self from their performance; as a result, they don’t putt nearly as well as they could. How do you help them get rid of that internal drama?
F: The first thing to do is to even become aware of the internal drama. There are times when there is no drama going on in our head and there are times when there’s a lot. So the game becomes, can a golfer catch the drama as it first arises, in the very first moment when this quiet voice starts its drama? When you catch it early, before it gets fully formed, it’s possible to start letting go of it. It’s possible to recognize it for what it is and not let it rise up. It’s possible to let it be. The more we can let ‘it’ be, the more ‘it’ let’s us be.
So the voice may still “talk’ but it doesn’t seem to have as powerful a grip on the person. It’s like hearing a tape recorder from afar. It’s less personal and less powerful.
Q: You say extraordinary performance comes with “letting go, taking risks, and rediscovering trust in our instincts.” How (or why) do those behaviors improve the player’s game?
F: They improve our games in different ways. For instance…
Letting go—the act of swinging freely—enables a golfer to exhibit their natural power in a way they can’t in a calculated motion. And, the body’s instincts can be tapped to bring out a natural consistency that’s innate and impossible to achieve through mental tips.
The courage to take risks to explore new paradigms gives the possibility of a future that’s not bound by the predictable patterns of our past.
Q: How did an English major end up as a golf coach?
F: English majors tend to be educators. But what turned me on was not golf education but rather education through golf. The question became not “what can I learn about golf?”, although that’s interesting, but rather, “what can I learn while I’m learning to play golf?” I’m interested in learning and in learning about the people who play.
Q: In the book you refer to something called “purposeful distraction.” What is it and how do you use it in teaching?
F: Our bodies know how to do things beautifully but our minds can get in the way. Every human being’s mind can interfere with that being’s capacity to perform. When I say ‘distraction’ I mean distracting the mind when the action is taking place so that it doesn’t get in the way of the body doing what it knows how to do. By distracting the mind, the person can witness how extraordinarily they can perform and it gives them reassurance in their ability. It also gives them the confidence to let go of the mental gymnastics—their habit of trying to control the action—which is part of what gets in the way.
Q: How much of your approach can be applied to life off the golf course?
F: All of it! Our intention is that the very same things that make a person an extraordinary player in the game would also allow for an extraordinary life. Self trust, compassion, freedom, concentration, learning how to learn, overcoming obstacles all are valuable in life. It’s very possible that the point of the game is to teach us something that’s outside the game. You can only use a 9-iron on the golf course but the concentration you nurture on the course can be used everywhere.
Q: What elements of your program do you cover in seminars for companies like Apple Computer and Lucent?
F: If companies truly commit to being/becoming learning organizations, then it seems obvious that they must examine how employees are as learners. Our participants learn how to really learn. They also learn how to be an extraordinary coach. And part of that is learning how to create an environment in which extraordinary performance is possible in another. They also distinguish the nature of self-interference, which can sabotage learning, enjoyment and performance.
Q: Your wife Jo Hardy, CEO of Extraordinary Golf, collaborated on the book. What does she bring to the writing process?
F: Jo had never played golf before she came to Extraordinary Golf so from the very moment she picked up a club, she’s been involved in the process described in the book. Her journey from a beginner to a fine player has given her a depth of experience from which she can draw on and contribute to every chapter in the book. Her natural gifts of integrity, clarity, playfulness have not only influenced the writing style, but have influenced the content and the tone of the book.
And, she’s just fun. Why wouldn’t I do something I like to do with my best friend?